Melanin, Mary Jane, and Memories
About ten years ago I went on my first trip to Las Vegas with a few co-workers, $300, and a very naive plan to find a wife that would pay for my expensive lifestyle. After checking into our hotel and settling into the pool we were excited to find out that E! was taping their variety show live from our very location all week. The problem with working at night and sleeping all day is that once the camera starts rolling you will be told by the director that your pale, skinny, white frame is severely disrupting the white balance and asked to find a pool more suited for people who went to their prom “stag”. So, after getting out of the water, surrounded by people who are tanner and prettier than I could ever be I made a silent promise to myself that I would prove to those dickheads at E! that I, Jefferson Vanbilliard was not a pale, slack jawed hill billy but rather a super fit, tan, man child who sometimes gets mistaken for a young Zach Morris.
I’m not sure if La Vida Verde has done extensive research on whether or not their 100mg Lemon Pie edible super cookies have the ability to awaken horrible memories you have buried deep inside your subconscious but for some reason I couldn’t stop thinking about Giuliana Rancic’s dead eyes glaring at me as I desperately tried to wade out of that pungent cesspool they called a stage. It was a Thursday several years after that fateful day and the familiar buzz from these 1:1 CBD infused chewy coconut clusters were starting to set in as I made my way into Downtown Santa Ana to find something to eat. I had grown up a lot since returning from the desert and I thought I had made peace in my soul with that scumbag network but it all came rushing back to me when I noticed a storefront advertisement promising to “Have me looking bronzed in minutes”. This was my chance, I would finally get the admirations from my peers, respect I deserved, and the skin of a Greek Goddess.
open.spotify.com/episode/52ptaKW4MJdiVBcS80DYCK
www.loom.com/share/aa6526c39e5346f4a04966d4e074...
bento.me/tree-ghost
bento.me/inside-out-2-vietsub
open.spotify.com/episode/18H8q8tJqlLieKCCAxry5Y
www.loom.com/share/9317a18cb4da4a5b94f0f46838f4...
bento.me/conan-the-million-dollar-pentagram
open.spotify.com/episode/4uQ4xqrKm836JMKD0EMtqW
www.loom.com/share/7f393fbf3ebc4c8b9f05d70ca145...
bento.me/phim-my-boo
open.spotify.com/episode/6AdJi1ubbTClIgxspjN7Yp
www.loom.com/share/e57d2addda7a4fa58a60f190f434...
taplink.cc/cedfefw
app.heylink.me/
www.intensedebate.com/people/davestrdsd
www.articledude.com/classifieds/business-opport...
www.winbigads.com/community/events/the-million-...
classifiedadwebsite.com/community/events/the-mi...
flexclassifiedads.com/community/events/the-mill...
albfreeclassifiedsubmission.com/games/the-milli...
marketadclassifieds.com/community/community-act...
worldslargestclassifieds.com/community/events/t...
network.propertyweek.com/members/status/show?id...
tic-tac.teleco.uvigo.es/members/status/show?id=...
cofradesdegranada.ideal.es/members/status/show?...
community.tricycle.com/members/status/show?id=2...
community.thoracic.org/members/status/show?id=2...
community.goldencorral.com/members/status/show?...
www.forexagone.com/forum/questions-debutants/ef...
ecosoft.microsoftcrmportals.com/en-US/forums/ge...
wokwi.com/projects/405888800052154369
www.wowace.com/paste/68191f41
yamcode.com/reayerfwe
paiza.io/projects/FtPPk6hR9nrIdKphlXVQ3Q
paste.feed-the-beast.com/view/fa26c03a
notes.io/wbHkF
anotepad.com/notes/5ihh6p3j
pastelink.net/e19ub5ii
dev.bukkit.org/paste/f57af930
rentry.co/dz5xzss5
runkit.com/lplitasahim/vawtaedwdwf
justpaste.it/bi047
paste.kodi.tv/etewekocun
www.pearltrees.com/antoniosalvana/item624790707
wow.curseforge.com/paste/21b18f01
authors-old.curseforge.com/paste/cc7008e6
rift.curseforge.com/paste/6d5252ff
jsfiddle.net/Lxaw93c7/
pastebin.com/MDnffCrd
telegra.ph/hesrfedw-08-11
forum.its-egner.de/topic/1131/google-indexing-f...
nodebb.klangknecht.com/topic/296/google-indexin...
forum.thecodingcolosseum.com/topic/1490/google-...
forum.freedom-for-icinga.com/topic/1353/google-...
ultrafighteronline.com/topic/1740/google-indexi...
web3devcommunity.com/topic/1982/google-indexing...
forum.leaglesamiksha.com/thread/google-indexing...
www.litesn.com/forums/topic/14997/google-indexi...
forum.daoyidh.com/topic/513/google-indexing-fre...
smmwebforum.com/threads/google-indexing-free.15...
forum.realdigital.org/d/45332-google-indexing-f...
foro.ribbon.es/topic/13683/google-indexing-free
www.fellnasen-service.de/index.php?thread/18232...
biznas.com/Biz-postsm342449_Google-Indexing-Fre...
forumketoan.com/threads/google-indexing-free.34...
herbalmeds-forum.biolife.com.my/d/116268-google...
chodilinh.com/threads/google-indexing-free.3423...
cvt.vn/threads/google-indexing-free.1109366/
forum.instube.com/d/118413-google-indexing-free
wandering.flarum.cloud/d/92288-google-indexing-...
myworldgo.com/forums/topic/163110/google-indexi...
www.tadalive.com/forum/thread/49911/seo-indexin...
demo.evolutionscript.com/forum/topic/883-Google...
www.hebergementweb.org/threads/google-indexing-...
forum.freeflarum.com/d/107145-google-indexing-f...
molbiol.ru/forums/index.php?showtopic=1307065
forger.forums.maxon.net/topic/135/google-indexi...
saphalaafrica.co.za/wp/question/melanin-mary-ja...
findaspring.org/members/xsamanthalopez/
dailybusinesspost.com/melanin-mary-jane-and-mem...
profile.hatena.ne.jp/xsamanthalopezchang/
muckrack.com/xsamant-halopez/bio
www.techrum.vn/threads/melanin-mary-jane-and-me...
I entered the pink and white offices to find myself surrounded by the steady glares of no less than six women. As sweat slowly began to form on the small of my back I met each of their eyes individually, slowly blinking and making no sudden movements as to not spook them or show weakness. I was out of my own comfort zone and could hear the distinct sounds of freshly hardened wax being ripped off of some woman’s body somewhere nearby.
One thing every daily cannabis user can attest to is that being faded in a new situation can be a bit overwhelming at times. I once had to talk myself down from an anxiety attack due to a crowded DMV and some questionably potent flowers, and undressing in front of someone I don’t know and letting them spray god knows what on my body sounded like the worst idea ever in my current state. As I stood there in a pool of my own regret and self doubt I knew It was too late, I’d already reached the point of no return.
After no less than ten minutes spent inside the brown stained tent my golden glow had already begun to appear. As I stepped out of that office I was confident with my new look, and as I made my way towards the nearest restaurant to quell my cannabis induced hunger I knew I had to test drive my lastest complexion. For my experiment I knew a mid afternoon beer would not only help ease the high from those potent cookies but also serve as an excuse to test my theory. So I stood there, looking like Macaulay Culkin with slightly less melanin, while I slowly drank my beer and made eye contact with a woman that I once liked but never got further than a quick dinner with. We exchanged a few pleasantries and I made up something about needing to “get home” so I could feed a non existent dog. I knew the spray tan had done its magic when I received a text message shortly after saying that “it was SO good seeing you”. Yeah right, I thought. I knew the real reason, it was the tan.